Creating Pride Inclusive Sports took a LARGE dose of faith and courage, and I am quickly discovering that GROWING Pride Sports will take an even larger dose. Pride Sports started with a dream of seeing inclusive and adaptive sports in our area for my son Sully. Once a fashion major from New York, I now find myself a special needs mom, inclusion advocate and founder of a nonprofit living in Austin Texas! My family and I moved to Texas on a whim, and loved it the first time we stepped foot in the beautiful hill country we now call home. We came to Texas with abundance, pride and contentment, unknowingly about to dive into a crash course in decrease, humility and discomfort.
A long time ago I asked God to be in everything I do, and I felt like I needed to remind Him when I started Pride Sports (wasn’t really Him that needed the reminding). I reminded Him what this cause means to my family, and asked Him to show up clearly and regularly, so my weak human mind could be encouraged and motivated. We have both kept our promises, I have stayed motivated and He has stayed visible. Truly His fire has burned so bright, so fast and so hot, that the lush green woodland I have been living in, has been burned down to a smoldering char.
My marriage has been challenged, savings exhausted, egos have been hurt, confidence disappeared and we have gotten comfortable with being uncomfortable. So here I am, sitting in a pile of ash from a once lush woodland. My pastor told me that something beautiful will grow from this smoldering pile, he has no idea how much I hold onto that statement.
While dragging me through the fire, kicking and screaming (cause that’s what girls from NY do), I have learned one of the most important lessons I could ever learn about myself. In the essay “First and Second Things” from CS Lewis, he says “You can’t get second things by putting them first. You get second things only by putting first things first.” If my firsts included money, husband, kids, cars, etc., then I would have crumbled after any one of those things was challenged, broken or taken away. Through the great fire of 2015 I have felt a peace beyond understanding, if God had been anything but first, I would have lost it by now! It took heartache, confusion, sadness, doubt and fear to PROVE to me that He is my first. And only now that my first is first, can my seconds even have a chance.